The common misconception women seem to have is that more the control they have on their partners the more secured their lives would be. Wish it would be that simplistic but it isn’t !
When parents try to have complete control on the lives of their children they forget that if a child is not given the space to think with his own mind they would never let his true personality emerge.
I remember when I was growing up my father insisted I leave home and go and stay in a hostel for a year not because he didn’t love me or he wanted me to leave home but because he wanted me to think and formulate my own sensibilities and priorities rather than just believe and blindly follow what he believed in. Today I respect him for the decision he took back then for sending me abroad.
Staying away from home not only made me realise my family’s value but also helped me formulate my own individualistic views and opinions which today help me live my life my way. Not that I had no restrictions; I come from a conservative background; but then again despite being from a close knit protected family; I have been given the space to lead life in my own way.
The same holds good when we speak about spouses; its amusing when you hear women say that I don’t allow my husband to do this or he is not permitted to be here. Does that really make you feel in control of the person ? Let’s face it, you cannot control people and expect them to be themselves. If you really want your partner to be happy then you have to give him the space to lead his life the way he wants to.
That certainly doesn’t mean that a women should accept everything whether or not she likes it; but it is the approach and the mindset that makes all the difference. A polite request at times can work better than harsh orders and instructions.
However close you are to a person and how much ever understanding and attachment two people share one has to realise that you can’t own a person. Every individual has his own thinking and one should be accepted the way he or she is rather than try to make a perfect individual out of someone who probably is completely perfect in his own perspective.
The essence of any relationship would stay intact if people involved are allowed to be themselves because when you try to change someone he or she might to do it for the happiness of their families or their partners but eventually that does create a mental pressure which would blow up someday.
To keep the negativity onshore and allow a relationship to groom in a positive healthy manner it is important that a bond comprise of space, mutual respect and sensitivity towards each others likes and dislikes.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Support the Change for India !
‘Democracy is a form of government in which all eligible people have an equal say in the decisions that affect their lives’. Lets start to rethink about this, everyone has an equal say in the decisions ! Doesnt that ring a satirical bell out here.
Before I go on; I am no Anna Hazare Supporter nor am I political party supporter. I am any other common youth living in Mumbai who leads life as it comes, worries about my own future, my own career, my own family and my own needs. But seriously don’t we all just do that oblivious to our difficulties.
Have you ever sat down to think why you didn’t manage to get that particular seat in that particular college you wanted to be in even though you knew you deserved it or why you didn’t make it to the company you spent all your youth days dreaming about.
You could have probably got that seat if there wasn’t a politician’s son who demanded to be in that particular college or you would have probably grabbed your dream job if there weren’t recommendations pouring in from the management for the job to be given to an influential personality’s son who was probably not even half as talented or qualified as you.
The problem with we Indians is not that we are ignorant of our rights; the problem is we learn to live with difficulties. We treat these problems as a part of our lives and when the time comes we diffuse ourselves into the system making ourselves to believe to be a part of our lives
The other day while having a detailed chat with a friend about the corrupt systems in India; we spoke about all the aspects of our lives where we thought things weren’t the way they were meant to be and then on drawing the conversation to an end all that was derived was that we have to learn to live with it, what all can we change, everyone from a peon to a influential minister is corrupt.
Can we always manage to escape the current scenario by blaming the authorities and moving on with our lives. When a system is made in any country it is done so for maintaining a certain decorum and peace; Ironically in India it doesn’t work in a similar manner. Here every time a system is put in place the first thought that crosses our minds is how to bypass it or hamper with it and it doesn’t end there; we pride ourselves for finding a solution in the most corrupt situations.
I come back to my same assertion I am no Anna Hazare supporter but yes I am a supporter of anyone who would show me a small ray of hope in a life blanketed around corruption. Lets put it this way; There are only two ways to live life either accept the wrong make it a part of your life and keep moving on or believe in the right and thrive for what you believe. If you are grounded in a tunnel for years together there would be two ways of dealing with it; one would be to give up and wait for your life to end or walk around and struggle till you see the first ray of daylight and follow the trail and to find your way out of the darkness of the tunnel.
Now the choice is yours would you want to sit there and accept a failure and give up all that you deserved because you would rather live in a shell than come out and express yourself or would you like to fight against what is wrong and do your bit to bring about the change.
A change is not just about getting out on the streets with a lit candle; it is about believing that corruption has to end and start to bring about the change by first changing your own mindset and attitude.
Before I go on; I am no Anna Hazare Supporter nor am I political party supporter. I am any other common youth living in Mumbai who leads life as it comes, worries about my own future, my own career, my own family and my own needs. But seriously don’t we all just do that oblivious to our difficulties.
Have you ever sat down to think why you didn’t manage to get that particular seat in that particular college you wanted to be in even though you knew you deserved it or why you didn’t make it to the company you spent all your youth days dreaming about.
You could have probably got that seat if there wasn’t a politician’s son who demanded to be in that particular college or you would have probably grabbed your dream job if there weren’t recommendations pouring in from the management for the job to be given to an influential personality’s son who was probably not even half as talented or qualified as you.
The problem with we Indians is not that we are ignorant of our rights; the problem is we learn to live with difficulties. We treat these problems as a part of our lives and when the time comes we diffuse ourselves into the system making ourselves to believe to be a part of our lives
The other day while having a detailed chat with a friend about the corrupt systems in India; we spoke about all the aspects of our lives where we thought things weren’t the way they were meant to be and then on drawing the conversation to an end all that was derived was that we have to learn to live with it, what all can we change, everyone from a peon to a influential minister is corrupt.
Can we always manage to escape the current scenario by blaming the authorities and moving on with our lives. When a system is made in any country it is done so for maintaining a certain decorum and peace; Ironically in India it doesn’t work in a similar manner. Here every time a system is put in place the first thought that crosses our minds is how to bypass it or hamper with it and it doesn’t end there; we pride ourselves for finding a solution in the most corrupt situations.
I come back to my same assertion I am no Anna Hazare supporter but yes I am a supporter of anyone who would show me a small ray of hope in a life blanketed around corruption. Lets put it this way; There are only two ways to live life either accept the wrong make it a part of your life and keep moving on or believe in the right and thrive for what you believe. If you are grounded in a tunnel for years together there would be two ways of dealing with it; one would be to give up and wait for your life to end or walk around and struggle till you see the first ray of daylight and follow the trail and to find your way out of the darkness of the tunnel.
Now the choice is yours would you want to sit there and accept a failure and give up all that you deserved because you would rather live in a shell than come out and express yourself or would you like to fight against what is wrong and do your bit to bring about the change.
A change is not just about getting out on the streets with a lit candle; it is about believing that corruption has to end and start to bring about the change by first changing your own mindset and attitude.
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