The common misconception women seem to have is that more the control they have on their partners the more secured their lives would be. Wish it would be that simplistic but it isn’t !
When parents try to have complete control on the lives of their children they forget that if a child is not given the space to think with his own mind they would never let his true personality emerge.
I remember when I was growing up my father insisted I leave home and go and stay in a hostel for a year not because he didn’t love me or he wanted me to leave home but because he wanted me to think and formulate my own sensibilities and priorities rather than just believe and blindly follow what he believed in. Today I respect him for the decision he took back then for sending me abroad.
Staying away from home not only made me realise my family’s value but also helped me formulate my own individualistic views and opinions which today help me live my life my way. Not that I had no restrictions; I come from a conservative background; but then again despite being from a close knit protected family; I have been given the space to lead life in my own way.
The same holds good when we speak about spouses; its amusing when you hear women say that I don’t allow my husband to do this or he is not permitted to be here. Does that really make you feel in control of the person ? Let’s face it, you cannot control people and expect them to be themselves. If you really want your partner to be happy then you have to give him the space to lead his life the way he wants to.
That certainly doesn’t mean that a women should accept everything whether or not she likes it; but it is the approach and the mindset that makes all the difference. A polite request at times can work better than harsh orders and instructions.
However close you are to a person and how much ever understanding and attachment two people share one has to realise that you can’t own a person. Every individual has his own thinking and one should be accepted the way he or she is rather than try to make a perfect individual out of someone who probably is completely perfect in his own perspective.
The essence of any relationship would stay intact if people involved are allowed to be themselves because when you try to change someone he or she might to do it for the happiness of their families or their partners but eventually that does create a mental pressure which would blow up someday.
To keep the negativity onshore and allow a relationship to groom in a positive healthy manner it is important that a bond comprise of space, mutual respect and sensitivity towards each others likes and dislikes.
No comments:
Post a Comment